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  • Writer's pictureHeidi Deanne Coaching

How to be more socially confident


As a business owner, being socially confident is a key aspect of success. It allows you to build strong relationships, make new connections, and advocate for your business with ease. However, for some of us, social confidence may not come naturally. The good news is that social confidence is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice. Here are some tips on how to be more socially confident:


Practice confident body language

Body language plays a huge role in social confidence. Standing up straight, making eye contact, and having a firm handshake can make a big difference in how others perceive you. But it's not just about looking confident; it's also about feeling confident. One way to do this is to focus on your breathing and try to relax any tense muscles. Taking a few deep breaths before a social interaction can help calm your nerves and make you feel more confident. Remember, confidence is not about pretending to be someone you're not, but about embracing and expressing your true self with ease and comfort.


Here are some resources that will help you to develop confident body language:

  1. "Your body language may shape who you are" by Amy Cuddy. This popular TEDTalk discusses how body language not only affects how others perceive us, but also how we perceive ourselves.

  2. "The Power of Body Language" by Vanessa Van Edwards. This YouTube video discusses how to use body language to build confidence, make connections with others, and communicate more effectively.

  3. "The Charisma Matrix" by Charlie Houpert. This YouTube channel offers tips and strategies for improving social skills and developing confident body language.

  4. "Confident Body Language Tips" by Brian Tracy. In this video, Brian Tracy provides practical tips for improving body language to increase confidence and credibility in both personal and professional settings.

  5. "Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges" by Amy Cuddy. This book by the author of the aforementioned TEDTalk provides a more in-depth exploration of the relationship between body language, confidence, and success.


Practice, practice, practice

Practice makes perfect. The more you practice socializing, the more comfortable you'll become. Try going to networking events, conferences, or even social gatherings. Engage in small talk, ask questions, and listen actively. You'll find that the more you practice, the more you'll enjoy meeting new people.


Active listening is the process of fully concentrating on what the other person is saying, understanding their point of view, and providing feedback to confirm that you have heard and understood them correctly. To actively listen during networking, it's important to maintain eye contact, avoid distractions, and respond thoughtfully to what the other person is saying. This can involve asking clarifying questions, reflecting on what they've shared, and sharing your own insights and experiences in response. By actively listening, you can build stronger relationships with your networking contacts and gain a deeper understanding of their needs and interests.


Be prepared

If you're nervous about social situations, it can help to be prepared. Do some research before an event or meeting to familiarize yourself with the attendees or topic. Prepare some talking points or questions in advance to ease any anxiety you may have. Some examples:

  • What inspired you to pursue your current profession or business?

  • What challenges have you faced in your career, and how have you overcome them?

  • What do you enjoy most about your work?

  • Have you attended any interesting conferences or events lately?

  • How do you stay up-to-date with industry trends?

  • What are some of your current projects or goals?

  • What advice would you give to someone starting out in your field?

  • Have you read any good books or articles lately that you would recommend?


Focus on the other person:

Instead of worrying about how you're coming across, focus on the other person. Ask them questions about themselves, their interests, or their work. Show a genuine interest in what they have to say, and they'll likely reciprocate. Not only will this take the pressure off of you, but it will also help you form a stronger connection. It demonstrates that you value and care about their thoughts, opinions, and experiences. When you actively listen and engage with someone, they feel heard and understood, which can foster feelings of trust and rapport. It also allows you to gain a deeper understanding of their perspective and build common ground, making it easier to find shared interests and experiences. This can lead to a more meaningful and fulfilling relationship, whether it be a personal or professional one.



Celebrate your unique qualities

Don't try to conform to what you think others want you to be. Instead, embrace your quirks and let your personality shine. Remember that your uniqueness is what sets you apart from others and can help you stand out in a crowd. As the famous comedian Lucille Ball once said, "I'm not funny. What I am is brave." So be brave and show the world what makes you special.


In conclusion, social confidence is a skill that can be learned and improved upon. By working on confident body language, practicing, being prepared, focusing on others, and celebrating your true self, you can become more socially confident and take your business to the next level. Remember, confidence is contagious, and the more confident you are, the more confident others will be in you and your business.




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